How not to beat the January blues > If you are still suffering from January-itise, spare a thought for two of our clients. The first told how she had been invited to join an Iranian family to see in the New Year. The hostess’ theory was that her temperament when the clock struck midnight dictated her mood for the year.
She was therefore determined not to stress about anything and thus let her children run riot around the house. “And they did, embolden in the knowledge that Mum would not tell them off,” said our shell shocked client. “It was a nightmare. My nerves are still in tatters, so goodness knows how 2019 will turn out for me!”
The second story relates to a Dad with a serious New Year hangover, who was told his life would be transformed with a session of Family Constellations. Unfortunately he thought he was being told to try family counselling and took the advice very badly. When Tonic told him this was in fact another name for Systemic Constellations, which draws on existential phenomenology and Zulu attitudes, he did not know whether to laugh or cry.
So what is Systemic Family Constellations? Developed by Bert Hellinger, a German psychotherapist, it is about focusing on family systems to disclose the deeper forces that unknowingly influence thoughts, behaviours and emotional experiences through multiple generations. In therapy you are guided to create a model of your family system to reveal and transform hidden patterns that are difficult to understand and change. “In my family that would be a blooming miracle,” scoffed our client.
Even those in the know confess that Systemic Constellation Work (SCW) is not easy to explain. This is is not reassuring!
A practitioner rallies to the cause, explaining unconscious connections with the fates of family ancestors must be revealed if psychotherapy is to be effective. “Each family system has a conscience that requires that all members be connected and remembered in a particular way.
“If someone in the system is not remembered correctly then younger members, out of love or the need to belong, can become entangled with their ancestors, particularly with those who have been excluded, forgotten or shunned or have experienced a difficult fate. Unconscious entanglements are behind many of the issues that are explored in these constellations“.
So, as we are still in the ‘Whatever’ frame of mind, let us simply say Happy New Year and remember – 365 new days = 365 new chances.
Footnote > In case you think your January blues are bad, use this Link to check out how some people are suffering far worse.