January is the Monday of months

How not to beat the January blues  >  If you are still suffering from January-itise, spare a thought for two of our clients. The first told how she had been invited to join an Iranian family to see in the New Year. The hostess’ theory was that her temperament when the clock struck midnight dictated her mood for the year.

She was therefore determined not to stress about anything and thus let her children run riot around the house. “And they did, embolden in the knowledge that Mum would not tell them off,” said our shell shocked client. “It was a nightmare. My nerves are still in tatters, so goodness knows how 2019 will turn out for me!”

The second story relates to a Dad with a serious New Year hangover, who was told his life would be transformed with a session of Family Constellations. Unfortunately he thought he was being told to try family counselling and took the advice very badly. When Tonic told him this was in fact another name for Systemic Constellations, which draws on existential phenomenology and Zulu attitudes, he did not know whether to laugh or cry.

So what is Systemic Family Constellations? Developed by Bert Hellinger, a German psychotherapist, it is about focusing on family systems to disclose the deeper forces that unknowingly influence thoughts, behaviours and emotional experiences through multiple generations.  In therapy you are guided to create a model of your family system to reveal and transform hidden patterns that are difficult to understand and change. “In my family that would be a blooming miracle,” scoffed our client.

Even those in the know confess that Systemic Constellation Work (SCW) is not easy to explain. This is is not reassuring!

A practitioner rallies to the cause, explaining unconscious connections with the fates of family ancestors must be revealed if psychotherapy is to be effective. “Each family system has a conscience that requires that all members be connected and remembered in a particular way.

“If someone in the system is not remembered correctly then younger members, out of love or the need to belong, can become entangled with their ancestors, particularly with those who have been excluded, forgotten or shunned or have experienced a difficult fate.  Unconscious entanglements are behind many of the issues that are explored in these constellations“.

To be honest, the year is still too young for talk about tuning into the resonance of the family field. Or as our client eloquently put it … “Give me my hangover any day“.

So, as we are still in the ‘Whatever’ frame of mind, let us simply say Happy New Year and remember – 365 new days = 365 new chances.

Footnote > In case you think your January blues are bad, use this Link to check out how some people are suffering far worse.

6 thoughts on “January is the Monday of months

  1. Miles Thorpe says:

    To an outsider this may seem strange, but all this therapy tries to do is touch into life’s interconnectedness. I agree that the sessions main seem a bit strange but that does not make them pointless. Your therapist will simply tune into the resonance of your family field – there is no risk,which cannot be said for so many other alternative therapists.

  2. Rose (Chagford) says:

    We all get entangled in the fates of our ancestors. I believe fields of energy have memory and influence that connect us in the present. Unconscious connections are not genetic influences, nor are they repressed memories. Instead it is better to think of these thoughts as psychic fields of energy.

  3. Like many New Age therapies, this one hides behind the mystique of psychic energy. Safer to believe in fairies as they do exist!

    • T.T. (Glasgow) says:

      There are indeed dangers here. It is based on a patriarchal view of the family system, typically that matrimonial difficulties are the fault of the wife. It is also worth mentioning that this German believes homosexuality is a disease to be cured. He claims to have cured an individual from this “disease” with a family constellation workshop. Not all is as it seems!

  4. Yves Gorge says:

    Hellinger’s views are very controversial and should have been highlighted in your Posting. For examples his anti-Semitic views and that war criminals should not be blamed for their crimes, as they were only following orders from higher authority. It is reported that he has advised victims of war crimes to perform a ritual of gratitude to the representatives of those who have committed crimes against them!!

    • Olive (Client 107) says:

      Another insight into this man’s brain is that he treats trauma resulting from incest by having the ‘victim’ thank the person responsible for the experience. This, according to this idiot, restores harmony within the family. Hellinger has also expressed the belief that fathers sexually abuse their daughters when the mothers repeatedly reject their sexual advances, effectively placing the blame for the abuse with the mother. This man has a dark soul.

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